Ah, my sweet, sweet loyal audience. As this is my final article for this school year, I took the time to look back on the life-changing interactions that we have had. Praise like, “Why did Lassiter approve this?” will indeed make me yearn for writing this summer. To celebrate the end of the year, I gave my interviewees the autonomy to answer with whatever hot takes they had instead of imposing my agenda onto them.
Coming off hot with our first opinion, one student passionately expresses that, “PEOPLE SHOULD STOP BEING SO WEIRD ABOUT SITTING ON A CHAIR WHEN IT’S WARM!!! It’s not even like they’re farting on the chairs. It’s just body heat. People need to grow up!”
I have to admit that I am a perpetrator of the negative portrayal of warm chairs. Even though I know it is nicer to have my seat warmed up for me rather than warming it myself, I can’t help but exclaim, “Ewww, why is my chair warm?” when experiencing this phenomenon. Truthfully, I believe it is a way for me to project my body temperature insecurity onto other people.
Another student comments that they don’t understand why people get so upset about sports. “You don’t know even the guy! They are just people being bought by different companies. They’re not necessarily loyal to a single team. Do theater instead.” And the divide between the two political parties, jock and theater nerd, only widens.
Speaking of theater, one pupil claims, “Alice in Wonderland by HPHS was not that good. I was straight up falling asleep during it.” The nerve of this person to say this in front of one of the lead actors was honestly respectable. In defense of Alice, I was the Head of Costumes, so at least we know it was not the costumes that were at fault.
For our finale, here is a quick round of some hot takes I’ve heard throughout the year. One of them is mine. Can you tell which one? “People should eat the crust first on pizza!” “Couples need to stop making out in the halls. It’s freakin’ gross.” “People should financially support the author of Hot Takes.” “Pedro Pasqual is not hot!” Ouch, that last one hurt.
In all seriousness, I am incredibly thankful for all the fans of Hot Takes (and your future financial donations to my cause). Keep those butts warm, Highland Park. I’ll see you all next year.